FOUNDATION. -Bon, says my builder, there are 2 possibilities: We can build a wall around the old foundation, than saw the floor in two, make an extra wall between the two halfs, because you will need some more support, and than pour a new floor a little higher, for to avoid cracking, old and new should’nt touch.
We can also order a bulldozer.
Two weeks later, the old foundation is lying at the far end of the garden, and a lonely bulldozer is pacing the rest of the afternoon flattening out the new building plot.
-Tomorrow we’re going to mark
-Ok, I’ll drop by.
End of the morning next day, I discover the spot untouched. No one to be seen. Well, maybe this afternoon…
At 16.30 I pass again. Still no one to be seen. Some sticks and ropes have appeared though.
-Allô! Yes, I mean no, we had a small job to finish. Tomorrow morning, “c’est sur”!
At 11.30h we arrive at the same time.
Marking is an art. First you outline the interior, than the exterior.
– I say, it looks like that rope of the interior is attached to the stick of the exterior…
-Ah, zut! Oui, 2 secondes! Here you go, “impeccable”. Straight, right-angled, what more could you want.
A month later, the foundation is ready, the floor dry, and the walls begin to show. In a corner, I find a giant triangle.
-Have a look, those walls aren’t right-angled!
– Eh, not entirely, no. But that isn’t my fault, that’s because of this old foundation……!
Not satisfied, but how do you express that in french? Let me have a try….
DOCTOR -Aie ! Something jumped into my eye!
-Let me have a look? Mmm, I don’t see much, maybe it jumped right out again already. Just close your eyes for a while and relax, it will pass.
Listen, it does look a little red. Maybe have a doctor take a look at it after all. Eye specialist, what’s that in french?
-Ophtalmo, ophtalmo …..there is one in the next village.
-Bonjour, I would like to make an appointment. My husband has had something getting in his eye, and it looks a little red .
-Oui, oui, pas de problème! Let me see, I can schedule you for the 6th of september, in 5 weeks.
-5 weeks! Can’t you do any earlier? He can’t just wait for 5 weeks!
-Non, non, nothing earlier, sorry, very busy, all is booked.
Try someone else, my husband proposes.
Ophtalmo…., ah, here’s another one.
-Bonjour, my husband has something in his eye, it is rather red.
-Oui,oui, 1 september. In 4 weeks. You can also drop in at the doctors in your village
-Yes, but he hasn’t got the right instruments, has he…
Another one. 6 weeks
I’m starting to loose my temper!!
-Bonjour, my husband has had an accident. Something got into his eye and it is now red and swollen and he has a bad headache.
-Oh là, là! Can he still see?
-Hardly, his eye is weeping and it stings.
-Aie aie, we really need to look at that, can you make it in one hour….?
Think like the french! Shall I make the call next time?